


Best laid plans

by Queenofthebees



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Robb just wants his sister to stop shagging Jon all the damn time, Shave bet, Shaving, Tumblr Prompt, and makes a ridiculously stupid plan, because that is just the way the prompt crumbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 07:16:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17340995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthebees/pseuds/Queenofthebees
Summary: “Wait, what?” Jon asked. “Why do I have to lose my hair?”“And beard!” Robb added quickly.“That wasn’t part of the deal!” Sansa hissed, turning to glare at her brother. Robb shrugged.“Beards are part of a shave bet,” he answered simply. “Anyway! We bet that Sansa couldn’t go until Christmas without playing Candy Crush. The loser had to shave their hair. But then, I figure it is harsh to cut Sansa’s hair off. So, naturally, you’re the replacement.”“Don’t do it Jon!” Sansa pleaded, turning back to him. “It’s fine, I’ll do it.”





	Best laid plans

“Are you playing candy crush _again_?” Robb huffed, scrunching the wrapper of his eaten chocolate bar into a ball and chucking it at his sister’s distracted head.

“Oi!” Sansa snapped before she glared at her phone. “Oh, Robb! You’ve made me lose!”

“You shouldn’t play on your phone when in company, it is rude,” her brother retorted. “Mother would be so disappointed.”

“I bet she couldn’t go without it!” Theon teased as he grabbed his shoes.

“I could,” Sansa sniffed indignantly. “I’m only on it because you’re late, as always. When I offer you a lift into town, it would be nice for you to be ready on time for once.”

“And what about the other times you’re on it?” Theon prodded, shooting her a smirk as he tied his laces. Sansa didn’t take the bait, instead pocketing her phone and folding her arms as she waited for them.

“How about we make a wager?” Robb prompted, eyes alight with glee at the thought. Sansa raised a curious eyebrow.

“Go on.”

“I don’t have money,” Robb continued. Sansa scoffed but Robb ignored it. “But, what about a shave bet?”

“A what?”

“If you can go until Christmas without Candy Crush, Theon and I will shave our hair. If you lose, you have to shave your hair.”

“Are you kidding?” Sansa snorted, shaking her head at him. “Get ready to have those pretty locks cut off big bro! Your bet is too easy.”

“We’ll see!” Robb called out as she stepped out of the door.

***

It had taken her longer than it should for her brain to register that she had opened the candy crush app without even thinking about it and started playing the game to pass the time on her bus.

She bit her lip as she closed the app. While Theon and Robb would never know she had played it, even for a couple of minutes, it wasn’t in her to lie. She just hoped that she could negotiate another price instead of her own hair. Her hair was her favourite feature about herself, she couldn’t lose it all!

Theon had been unrestrained in his glee, literally laughing in her face. Robb’s silence stretched on, making her nervous as he peered at her over the tops of his fingers.

“Well, maybe we can think of something else,” Robb sighed. He leaned back in his chair and ran a thoughtful hand across his beard.

“She would have made you lose your hair,” Theon said, folding his arms as he looked at Robb.

“Yeah but my hair doesn’t mean much to me.”

“Yeah, you’d still get laid,” Theon mumbled and Sansa raised a curious eyebrow at the bitter tone in his voice.

“Okay, I’ve got it!” Robb declared suddenly, clapping his hands. “Jon takes the punishment for you!”

“Oh yes!” Theon fist bumped the air.

“No!” Sansa cried before she realised the flaw in Robb’s suggestion, making her smile victoriously. “He’ll never agree to it!”

Theon scoffed. “He would for you.”

As though hearing his name being discussed, Jon entered the flat raising his eyebrows as everyone turned towards him. Robb and Theon smirked at him as Sansa bit her lip and lowered her eyes.

“What?” he asked eventually, tossing his keys into the bowl by the door and shrugging off his jacket.

“Sansa owes us,” Robb replied, shooting her a smug smile when she glared at him.

“You’re demanding money from your sister?” Jon scoffed, shooting Robb a disapproving look.

“Oh no,” Robb replied, folding his arms as he grinned at Jon. “We didn’t bet for money.”

“You have to lose your hair!” Theon blurted, bouncing in his excitement.

“Oi!” Robb huffed, pouting at his stolen moment of glee.

“Wait, what?” Jon asked. “Why do I have to lose my hair?”

“And beard!” Robb added quickly.

“That wasn’t part of the deal!” Sansa hissed, turning to glare at her brother. Robb shrugged.

“Beards are part of a shave bet,” he answered simply. “Anyway! We bet that Sansa couldn’t go until Christmas without playing Candy Crush. The loser had to shave their hair. But then, I figure it is harsh to cut Sansa’s hair off. So, naturally, you’re the replacement.”

“Don’t do it Jon!” Sansa pleaded, turning back to him. “It’s fine, I’ll do it.”

“I’ll get the shaver and scissors!” Theon declared gleefully, practically skipping away down the corridor towards the bathroom.

“No, it’s fine,” Jon replied, leaning forward to give her a reassuring kiss on the temple before he shook his head at Robb. “Making your sister shave her hair. Really Robb?”

“She would have made me!”

“You need a haircut anyway!”

Robb’s retort was forgotten as Theon appeared again, waving the shaver victoriously.

“Take a seat Snow!” he prompted, kicking a stool out towards Jon with his foot.

Sansa made a choking sound in her throat, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she attempted to hide the sound. Robb and Theon made no attempt to hide their happiness at the idea.

“Finally, all the girls will stop drooling over you and I can get in!”

“I tell them I’m taken,” Jon huffed as he sat down, chancing a look to Sansa. She smiled to let him know that she trusted him in that regard. Robb said nothing, continuing to smirk in victory.

“Goodbye, luscious locks!” Theon sang, taking a stand behind Jon.  He grabbed a handful of hair, raising his eyebrows in surprise. “Hey, these are actually damn soft!” He shot Sansa an almost apologetic look. “I almost feel sorry for you…but you know, my dick needs me to do this.”

Jon’s eyes clenched shut as the scissors started to cut through his hair Sansa’s eyes travelled mournfully to the floor, watching as the locks tumbled to the ground. She couldn’t even bare to look up when she heard the shaver either.

It felt like hours had passed when Robb gave a slow clap. Slowly, Sansa raised her gaze , mentally preparing for the worst of seeing him looking like a teenager.

She blinked as she looked him over. It wasn’t so bad, at least with his hair, which was shorter but at least Theon hadn’t made him almost bald like she had feared. In fact, Theon had cut pretty well, despite her preference for slightly longer hair.

His beard was gone though and that was what had made her make a pathetic noise, crossing the floor quickly as though _he_ was the one needing comforted.

“Don’t worry sweetheart,” he murmured into her hair. “I promise I’ll grow it back as soon as possible.”

“And so, Jon Snow loses his sex appeal,” Theon commented solemnly, placing a hand over his heart as though paying tribute to a fallen soldier.

“Alright, time for pizza,” Robb stated, standing and rubbing his hands eagerly. As though he hadn’t just infantized her boyfriend.

“Yes, go before I tell Arya it was you who broke her bike,” Sansa growled, waving the chuckling pair out of the flat.

***

“I mean, it was rather extreme, but I get that you can’t just tell your sister to stop shagging her boyfriend all hours of the day,” Theon said, fishing out his keys.

Robb grimaced at the mental image of his sister and Jon that flooded his mind. Bad enough he could hear them sometimes when he came home from university and they had had the place to themselves.

“It buys us a bit of time for peace and quiet at least,” Robb agreed as they stepped into the flat.

“Ah, ah! Oh, _fuck_ , JON!”

Theon laughed as Robb felt the colour drain from his face at the sounds coming from Sansa’s room.

“But she _hates_ guys without beards!” he huffed, slamming the door shut.

“Erm, I hate to break it to you.” Theon added, picking up Jon’s discarded shirt. “But, um, I think they’ve been at it for hours already.”

“Fuck this!” Robb growled, turning to leave again. His plan falling to pieces.

“That’s what she said!” Theon called out just before the door slammed shut again.


End file.
